I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i think my cat just said my name.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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