Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
