We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
where am i from again
do herpes really smell.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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