she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
