Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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