nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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