I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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