i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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