I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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