Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
