My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
