sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize