did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Porn is love you can see.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
