I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
