he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
