remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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