I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
