On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
