then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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