I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
