Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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