You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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