Why is your signature on my underwear?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
