He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
