She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
