In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Shame - the story of my life.
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