Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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