they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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