There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
