if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
