I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
