no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
