Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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