plz talk dirty to me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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