The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
