Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
