take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
