just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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