big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
