My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
