Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
