ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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