it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
