i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's get the cat blown out
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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