Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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