Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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