Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
