So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
