I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
