first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He better not be in your backpack
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
