I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
